How do I answer a question I never was able to answer for myself? How do I explain every detail of every day being effected, and give the emotions a sick person goes through with clarity. She asked what it felt like, not physically, but what it felt like to be me, to be sick.Īs I tried to gain my composure, I glanced around the table for help or guidance, or at least stall for time to think. Then she looked at me with a face every sick person knows well, the face of pure curiosity about something no one healthy can truly understand. I was a little surprised as being my roommate in college and friend for years I thought she already knew the medical definition of Lupus. I started to ramble on about pills, and aches and pains, but she kept pursuing, and didn’t seem satisfied with my answers. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know? She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Lupus. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Lupus and be sick. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.Īs I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. The Spoon Theory by Christine Miserandino My best friend and I were in the diner, talking.
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